On Christmas eve, we decided to cook turkey dinner. Late
after work we headed to the grocery store bustling with last minute shoppers.
Not finding the 12 lbs turkey that Ina Garten's recipe called for, my wife and
I were weighing in our options, picking up a few frozen turkeys in the horizontal
freezer, to see if there was anything
close to the recommended weight.
"Good luck with getting turkey ready for
tomorrow," said a woman, leaning towards us from the opposite end of the
freezer.
"Yeah? Why?" I asked.
"You won't be able to thaw the turkey on time,"
she replied. I proffered that we could leave it out at room temperature overnight.
She countered that it will destroy the turkey. She was right. They generally
recommend thawing the frozen turkey in the refrigerator compartment allowing 24
hours for each 4-5 lbs. We were stuck.
"You could thaw it in cold water, changing water frequently,
or you could get a fresh turkey that should be in that area," she pointed
to another area in the meat section. We had no idea that there were fresh
turkeys in the store. We thanked her and
got our fresh turkey. It cooked well and we had a gratifying dinner.
She must have felt a pity for a mixed race Asian couple, in
the heart of rural Maine, trying to cook a quintessential American dinner but
at the verge of utter failure. In this
society where people live a very individualistic life, value privacy of other
people, and avoid gazes, stares at public places, her silence would have gone
unnoticed. Rather, it would be the norm.
Instead, she decided to break the norm and save a stranger's turkey dinner.
If we watch or read current American public debates
portrayed in the news and in the conversations of demagogues vying for power,
it is very easy to get wound up. It is easy to identify with one side or the
other and start huffing and puffing. But I am afraid, these are
exercises born
of desires to simplify reality, to create heroes and villains for writing
history. In the lives we live, however, kindness is born in non-reasoned
goodwill, outside the usual norms, and across the superficial distinctions of
identities, in mundane everyday spontaneous interactions. Heroism is not what
is pursued but a spontaneous majestic, abstract excellence.
Fortunately, human history favors excellence in us. It
favors kindness in us and not cruelty. It favors creation and not destruction.
Yes, our cruelty and destructive tendencies can do great damages and suffering
but they are not our triumphant attributes.
Hope more of us, and more often, we have the courage like
the lady across the freezer, to have kind intentions, and kinder feelings.
